Saturday, December 17, 20051:28 PM
feelings...
christmas is coming.. i should be happy.. but why do i still feel so depress??
suddenly.. i feel so alone.. and i asked myself... who am i living for??? y am i living?? i dun have an answer..
whatever i do.. doesnt seems to have anyone apreciating..
working so hard for the family.. trying my best to keep the remaining of the family well.. in the end.. only get a "good-for-nothing" remark.. devasted when i heard it.. suddenly lost all hope in everything... for all the things that i have done in the past... why am i doing it???
dear's eyes have not recover yet.. haiz.. i dunno when it will recover..
finally waited for his holiday to come.. finally thought we could have more time together... to do alot alot of things.. i tot we could do alot of different activities... instead of just go town.. or eat dinenr or watch movie den go home.. i've made plans for many things.. kite flying.. steamboat.. sentosa.. malaysia... and so much more.. but i guess all these will once again go down the drain...
the year is ending... which means very soon he will have to go back to school.. which also means.. we will have to go aback to the same again.. only get to meet in the night.. and hopefully.. one of the weekend.. haiz... maybe i shouldnt have quit my job.. maybe if i have somethings to do.. i wun feel so upset abt this holiday.. maybe if i didnt thin so much i wun feel so disappointed.. maybe maybe maybe..
eventually.. we wont do much this holiday...